being 17 is weird because you can get hit on by 14-year-olds and 20-year-olds and it’s THE SAME AGE DIFFERENCE
It’s also weird because you can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life. You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen
i’m glad plants can’t talk because when you’d water them they’d make gross drinking noises and be like “mmmm MMMMMmmmm MMMMMM” and it’d be SO UNCOMFORTABLE
and then when you stepped on grass it’d be like “oi what the fuck m8”
is ur grass australian
what if a guy in a hoodie comes up to you and hands you a giant book and gives you a sly smirk. when you start to read it, you realize it’s a book about your entire life. would you read it to the end?
what if you read it up to where you are now and then you realize that there’s only like three pages left when you get there
but why is the guy wearing a hoodie
The humans still haven’t notice I’m not an egg. I can hear the muffled shouts of their arguments over who ate the last slice of cheese. I sit in my cold wonderland of endless sustenance and snicker happily to myself while I feast upon their food. They do not know. They will never know.
I Was Trying To Be Funny But It Came Out as Really Mean: A 5-part documentary starring me.
I Was Trying To Be Loving And Supportive But I Probably Overstepped My Boundaries And Came Off as Creepy: a feature-length film with two sequels and a TV series adaption.
I Was Trying To Tell You I Relate To Your Difficult Situation But It Probably Sounded Like I Was Making It All About Me: a novel saga with several side book adaptions and a movie.
It got better.
This is precious